im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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