Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
