all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
