I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just cut my nipple shaving
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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