10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
