Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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