You really coming over, don't trick.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
