How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
