Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
