I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
