My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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