Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
