so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize