I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
