Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
