; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think my tv is drunk
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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