I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
