You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
