Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize