they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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