Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
