Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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