this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
