I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
