At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
