guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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