Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
What drink are we having for lunch?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
