so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
