Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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