nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
