I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
