i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
