we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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