WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
