I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
