I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
