I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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