how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
