thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
