I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
