White coat. Heels.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
