my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
