I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
