i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
