handjob tips. give me some.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
