I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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