Sponge bath it is.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
