people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
