mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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