This girl is more easily done than said...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
