remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
